More specifically, we were talking about the willingness – or unwillingness, really – of people, in general, to admit that they have a “problem”.Rewind a bit to early June.
I was vending at a local show. And SO excited about my booth. The setup was beautiful. I was offering a sample track for folks to experience the power of guided visualization. And giveaways! Viz packages, essential oils, peppermints for the ponies – who could resist?
As it turns out? Pretty much everyone.
The sound of the crickets was deafening.
I went home, feeling crushed to my core. Curled up in a little ball, wondering why I had been given this to create, only to have it so patently ignored? At the time, I’d several other competitions lined up but, as a bootstrapping -preneur, I wondered if the fees and time and energy were worth the potential exposure – particularly when what I was feeling in those moments was failure, rejection, and embarrassment?
The next weekend, I was schooling cross country with one of the girls who had beta tested the visualizations. She had been having success with them and I was wondering out loud what I had done wrong the weekend prior.
And then she said it: “It could be that they are afraid to admit they have a problem in front of their friends and their trainers.” Oh. My. Gosh. Kelsey, you’re brilliant. Immediately, the worries about it being about ME dissolved and I began to restrategize.
Back to the conversation with my trainer… As I was recounting this to her, I found myself saying, “…might not be willing to admit they have a problem…” And, as I heard those words coming out of my mouth, I also heard myself wonder out loud – why do we have to view it as a problem?
Of course, I know why… Conditioning. Programming. Old, outdated, belief systems.
The old freaking paradigm: if it isn’t working, it’s a problem.
None of which – I promise – serves us, or our horses.
The paradigm that is completely counter to my coaching practices, completely counter to everything that I’ve been re-training in my Self the past few years. Whether it’s nerves, or lack of focus, or perfectionism (a-hem). Yes, they present a challenge to our desired outcome. No question.
But a problem of such epic proportions that we can’t admit to it?That we mustn’t claim it? I’ll share with you a hard won truth: in order to change something, we have to be willing to name it. Only then will real change be in the offing.
And I’m standing up today, to call BS on the things that we call a “problem” in our riding.
Because they aren’t problems.
They are opportunities.
To get to know our selves better.
To get to know our horses better.
To activate the parts of us that are dormant – like creativity and connection and vulnerability.
To learn and to grow and, from this foundation, to succeed in ways we never could have imagined.
I read something the other day, that said success is about being willing to get back up after you’ve been knocked to your knees. Again, and again. And again.
I’ll add to that. Success is allowing others to see that we aren’t perfect. That we don’t have it dialed. And that – as we keep on going – we choose to resource ourselves along the way, to become better and better versions of who we are in the present moment.
I’d say I’m on about version 4.3…
And I am so looking forward to the day that I have a booth at a competition and riders and trainers alike will be willing – even eager – to come sit down and talk with me about Performance Energetics and whatever opportunities they are currently experiencing to explore the energetics of their riding and their partnership with their horse.